I’ve been thinking about Dj’s little shenanigan that he pulled on me the other day for days now and it started to bring back childhood memories of the things I did in order to test my parent’s love and man – I hate myself for doing what I do and now I understand the pain that my parent’s went through… hopefully I don’t have to go through with my kids… or at least know how to deal with it better. 
There’s always two sides to a story.
Ok – so what did he do.. well, Dj did a small number in the living room and Ber found out when he came down stair to let him out for the night. Yelled at him and he ran to the corner of the stairs to lay in silence as he knew what he did wrong. I came downstairs and understood why he did what he did, he’s usually really good about not going in the house – until he just can’t hold it anymore… So I thought, ok – let him out because he still probably needs to potty so I let him out on the porch while Ber goes on about what a bad dog, Dj had been.
I’d come back in to finish some things up and help Ber clean the carpet while I remember, “oh no – Dj’s still outside” so I went to let him in and he wasn’t there anymore. Usually when he gets yelled at and knows he’s done something wrong, he would just lay there until you say sorry or pat his head tell “it’s ok baby J, it’s ok” in a high pitch babying voice. So he wasn’t there, that means only one of two things, that he’s gone to go pee around the neighbor’s yard or ran across the street to check out the other neighbor’s dog, so I usually whistle for him to come back. But this time, after some 10 minutes of whistling profusely for him to come back, he didn’t. Then I came inside for a bit to finish things up for another couple of minutes and went out again to whistle him in and he didn’t come back…
I was getting worried at this point and Ber started whistling because his is louder than mine. After a long while Ber said, “don’t worry – he’ll come back” and was still mad at Dj for what he did so went to sleep without a care. My mother instinct kicked in and I couldn’t sleep, so I put on a jacket and headlamp and carried my umbrella into this small start of wet snow rain mixture at 12:00am on Tuesday! All around the neighborhood through all the regular routes we’d always do together and nothing. I then went around a second time just to make sure he can hear my whistle and call to him… and nothing. So with no more hope, I walked back home and crawled into the covers.
I rolled over and said to Ber “I think this time he’s never coming back… I’m scared he might’ve ran over the highway and we’ve lost him for sure” He pats me on the should and just says “Don’t worry – he’ll come back.. he’s probably hiding out somewhere to keep away from the rain” – I answered back “No – because I went all around the neighborhood, and usualy if he hears my whistle or me call his name, he would come running even if he knew I was mad, and he’d just keep his distance because he doesn’t want to be scolded at but he’ll still come running…” We doze off and sometime in the middle of the night Ber wakes up to go to the bathroom and hears some scratches on the front door. – Of course it was the little Dj..
He went downstairs to let Dj in and came back to sleep. I rolled over because I’d felt him get back into bed and said, what’d you go do. He replied “oh just bathroom, and get some water…” I started tossing and turning again because I’d woken up and can’t fall back asleep because I was still worried about where J’s whereabouts were… “Oh yeah, and he’s back, and sleeping down stairs”… GRRRRRR!!! I growled as I turned over to him, “You could’ve told me that 10 minutes ago, thank you.. ” And so that was that.. but then getting back to the poing that I was trying to make earlier about the two sides of the story.
Dj probably ran away because he wanted to see if we cared… was what ran through my mind (as a parent.. hypothetically). I mean, I remember as a kid when I did something that my parents had told me not to do, I’d run and hide somewhere and keep quite for hours sometimes in order for them to cool down and not be so mad at me anymore. But I’d also let it linger to the point where they can’t find me even though I could hear them coming to look for me because I wanted them to feel bad about what they’d done to me. I was bad… When they finally find me, I’d pretend on top of it all that I was really hurt, even though the only thing running through my mind while I hear them search for me was “Man – I’m sure showing them… shoot, if they miss me when I’m gone, why don’t the stop getting mad at me”… lol – i know… I was bad.
Mommy always says “some day your kids will treat you the same way and you’ll know how much it hurts.” she was right! It did hurt (I’m sure it will hurt more when it is actually my child and not just the dog). Then I think about it and realize, I shouldn’t have let him go and should’ve comforted him because Ber had just yelled at him. I realize, my parent’s were good people and have raised me to be a good person but that I don’t want my kids to be running off, especially at 12:30 in the evening, or morning should I say; so I’m going to have to be an extra better parent. I’ve also just learned from my daily life in addition to all this that communication is key. Man – I know he was probably confused as to why I let him out after his ‘dad’ was yelling at him. Probably thought we were so mad that we didn’t want to see him again.. lol.
